Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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