mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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