put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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