My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
