I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
