gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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