based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize