I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
handjob tips. give me some.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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