she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
