just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
