Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize