is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
