super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
