Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
