I love having hate sex.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
