i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
