2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
