Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
