New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
