You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
