So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
