Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
