this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
