I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
