I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
