Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize