Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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