So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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