Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
