Buhtt sex?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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