he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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