Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
