a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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