I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
