Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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