really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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