so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
