Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
where are my eyebrows?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
