Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
