new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
