I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
