I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
