i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
