absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
