Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Hippo gnu deer
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
