Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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