im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
