You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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