Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
