Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I understand Curling. That high.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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