worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
