Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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