There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
