are you so shy because you have an std?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
