yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
