We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
