she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
