It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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