anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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