oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
