I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
