he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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