I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
