True but thats because hes a fetus.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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