If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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