I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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