He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
