hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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