Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
