it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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