All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
