As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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