btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
