Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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