some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They are going to name an STD after you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize