just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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