and next time when you feel me up, do it right
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
