Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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