im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
