So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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