I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
