I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
