Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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